Thanks for the nice introduction, Dr. Strange. You're right about Gen. Jack D. Ripper, btw. He's nuttier than a fruitcake. Precious bodily fluids, my ass.However, as to the current state in which LANL finds itself, my good friend Major T. J. "King" Kong put it this way. I mean, really. Look at you. Charging more than $450,000 per FTE for any work you do.
Now, the Democratic majority in Congress is calling for the lab to readjust its priorities and subscribe to a "bold vision" (the words of Rep. Tom Udall, D-Santa Fe, in a press release) that would put energy independence rather than nuclear capability at the top of the national-security "to do" list. Excuse me, but isn't that NREL's mandate? What good would a bunch of (really expensive) stodgy old bomb designers be at renewable energy, anyhow? And who would pay LANL $450,000 per person to do it these days, no matter how good LANL says they would be at it? My buddy "King" has a few words about turning LANL into an energy lab in today's environment.
Speaking of what a "world class" lab LANL considers itself to be: how good a lab is LANL, really, these days? Face it, since that madman (and believe me, I know a madman when I see one) Nanos shut the place down for the better part of a year back in '04, many of the good scientists have been leaving. Look around you. How many world class scientists do you see remaining? Me neither.
Oh, and speaking of "in the toilet", too bad about the funding for that billion $ Pu facility being taken off the table. Nice hole in the ground you've got going out there at TA-55, though.
Did I mention the potential for around 2,000 more layoffs at LANL for FY '08? LANL is apparently not Congress' favorite budget line item. This, of course, would be in addition to the 600 - 1,000 RIFS that were already anticipated as a result of LANS' $175 million budget shortfall for this fiscal year. Life at LANL is good, however, at the top. It sure was nice of you to pay your top managers all those bonuses.
But wait! What about nuclear power? We could do nuclear power, couldn't we? Yes! that's it! We have a plan!
Well, maybe not. I never was too sure about Doc Strange, to tell you the truth.
I suppose that's enough musings for now. Tell you what, let's all just pretend that some miracle will happen, giving LANL a chance of not fading into complete irrelevance.
--General Buck Turgidson
14 comments:
Drop your socks and pick up your pencils!
You're gonna take notes!
(Well, that's actually a quote from General Bull Right, but I heartily agree with the bastard!)
Now, as to plutonium in our drinking waters: I never thought it would hurt a REAL American. As to plutonium pits in Los Alamos County: Where's the BEEF?
Moreover: What kind of Commie Pinko would ever QUESTION our most beloved perpetual wartime President on the need to keep ourselves free from the STAIN of Islamofascism? Of COURSE we need a plutonium pit factory! We should have one in every red-blooded American city. What USE could solar panels be when raghead Mohammedans assault our own undisclosed bunkers? Myself, I would consider it a matter of DEEPEST patriotic pride to throw myself on top of Vice President Dick Cheney, if it would save his life.
That's all for now. Buck up, and smoke 'em if you got 'em. Keep your bodily fluids pure and ready for action!
-Brig. Gen. Jack D. Ripper
Oh Jesus. You GOTTA, I mean GOTTA, click on those links in Gen. Turgidson's original. You really GOTTA. Snork! (Sorry, bodily malfunction. Wiping up: precious bodily fluids having leaked out some.)
"No RIFs, and no plans for a RIF, remember? Opps! This just in from DOE HQ. Plan for a RIF!" - Mikey
Vhait a minute! Vhat iss diss NREL ssing? Some kind uff Communist place? Zees are SOLAR panel laboratories? Iff you make me laugh, I vill -- HEIL HITLER! Achh! ... So sorry, Mr. President. An old vwar injury. It's nussing, really.
(NREL: Gott im Himmel! Vee do bombps, not solar panels!)
-Dr. Merkwürdigliebe
It's not my intention to "pick a fight" or "pile on" LANL. I feel that the battle many of you are waging is honorable.
However, this effort does remind me of the japanese soldiers found on remote islands 10 years after WWII ended having no clue they had lost.
"However, this effort does remind me of the japanese soldiers found on remote islands 10 years after WWII ended having no clue they had lost."
An apt description of your average LANL staff person, 7:38 AM. They're a pretty oblivious, self-centered bunch up there on "The Hill". And, according to this article:
http://www.freenewmexican.com/news/62978.html
about 2,435 of them are going to be taken completely by surprise when the pink slip is delivered.
I've talked with many clueless LANL workers who tell me that they aren't worried because Mike has already promised "there will be no RIFs". Amazing! And this is supposedly a community with the highest percentage of Phd's in America?
General Turdge -
Looks like you hit a nerve here with the "off-the-hill" crowd.
We are listening to Jared Diamond's book "Collapse" on tape as we travel around the country causing trouble and it occurs to Us that LANL is more like the Easter Islanders or perhaps more geographically aptly, the Anasazi.
Did those cultures realize they were collapsing? Or did it look like something else from the inside out.
We still cling to various desperate hopes that LANL doesn't have to implode to a singularity (mixing scientific metaphors, sorry), but see that some variation on this is more likely than not.
- Doc
Hey, Doc. Glad you could take time off from your travels to weigh in.
In defense of the poor, downtrodden masses at LANL: Mikey did, after all, say that no RIFs were planned, right?
So when the RIFS do start, it's completely understandable that they will not have seen it coming.
Well, gotta fly, I see some chickens in the barnyard that need frying...
--Buck Turgid
LANL has crossed over the black hole "event horizon". There is no turning back. The singularity awaits us.
I was just reading about Anastasio naming Mike Mallory to serve as principal associate director for lab operations and business services.
All I can say to LANL folks is to keep your BS filter clean. This guy is full of it.
Aaah, good old corporate america - just full of integrity and now it's going to share even more of it with one of the best National Labs are nation ever had. (conscious implied past tense):)
Good luck!
Poster 4:58 am, what's the story behind Mike Mallory? I don't really know this guy.
Then this conversation must be modulated Bekenstein-Hawking radiation?
We'll, I guess we all know what LANS' plan is... screw up and leak classified information at the LANS Board level and then try to cover it up. Brillant!!!
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