Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Google Man vs Bechtel Man

Revenge of the Nerds
If Bechtel Man got in a fight with Google Man

Who would win?

Miss those good old pre-adolescent days of idle speculation around those action figure heroes in your comic books? Well maybe we get to find out this time!

Remember when Bechtel (aka LANS) took over the LANL contract and they started doing all kinds of rude, stupid and downright dangerous (to the laboratory, the community, the country, and ultimately to science) things? About the same time as instituting a flawed Drug Testing Plan, they also instituted a new rule against taking (unauthorized) photographs on LANL property.

Today, a Google Camera Car (Streetview)* was spotted on LANL property... the camera phone shot of it below was taken (legally) from the public right-of-way just off LANL property... essentially from the Los Alamos Research Park. Naturally the Google Streetview Camera Car was not breaking Bechtel's rules either when the shot was taken...

But it *was* about to turn into the Otowi parking area, patently ON LANL Property. Did the driver turn off his camera? Probably not!

We wonder if the Pro Force even knew what that "funny thing on top of yer ski rack!" was?

Expect this view to show up on Street View "real soon now"! Or will Bechtel manage to supress it?

Bechtel's policies about camera use on LANL property are probably pretty unenforceable with anyone not working for or under contract to Bechtel/LANS. But wouldn't it be fun to see what would happen if Bechtel tried to take on Google over something like this.

We are betting on Google Man kicking Bechtel Man's ass.

First, we suspect Google man knows more about Bechtel Man's private corporation (and family) dealings than even the NSA and the FBI. Second, while Bechtel man can call in his evil-action-friend Blackwater Man to use full-frontal-assault and sniper-rifle and hand-to-hand combat forces against Google Man, Google Man can respond across a much wider, possibly subtle, but more effective range. Bechtel Man's secret dealings (behind closed doors, under tables, in the haze of smoke-filled rooms) will suddenly be out in the open... his enemies and competitors will suddenly find that their web searches for one thing, expose an orchestrated cacophany of "dirty little secrets".

When Bechtel Man sends Blackwater Man after Google Man, not only will Google Man know all of Blackwater Man's plans, he will also have mucked with that order for "5000 rounds of armor-piercing sniper-ammo" from Firearms Man and Blackwater Man will be breaking down doors and shooting from rooftops only to find out those expensive rounds were really blanks or wadcutters or simply had just enough powder to jam their assault weapons and sniper rifles. Poor babies. Meanwhile back home, Bechtel Man's and Blackwater Man's wives will be discovering that their macho husbands aren't always off "making the world safe for democracy"... sometimes they are off hanging out with "teenage cheerleaders in heat" or worse yet "young studs who want you now!" or the wives themselves have fell in love with online lovers and are emptying the bank accounts and packing their bags to go off to live with Romeo (who is probably a 19 year old pimply faced GoogleGeek).

* Disclaimer: We haven't done the research to be sure this "ladybug" equipped car is Google's or MicroSoft's or some independent (KGB? Massaud? Al Quaida?) capture-mobile... but Google is a good bet and it makes for more fun pitting action figures against eachother!

'nuff for now
-Doc Strange(love)